Trolling Company Culture

Joined
Jul 16, 2011
Messages
778
#1
I was in a pretty good mood and it was a slow night at my second job, so I spent alot of time reminiscing about some of the funny gags I have pulled at spot over the years.

-About two years ago, when spot was big on droning on and on about "SENSE OF URGENCY," I used to make fun of that catch phrase when it was recognition time at huddles. I would come up with synonyms for that phrase and recognize random people for working with an "AURA OF EXPEDIENCY" or a "CHARACTERIC OF IMMINENCE!" Lol the funny thing was we had a retarted blonde cheerleader of an ETL-HR who would always cock her head, ponder, and then nod in approval. Lol I can't believe she'd buy it.

-Continuing on with spot's trend of using catch phrases, I always liked to come up with my own borderline suggestive catch phrases...e.g. if I was good friends with like a middle eastern person, at huddles I would recognize them for their "Sense of Urgency" and their "Concerted Efforts" lol.

-That same ETL-HR had a bad habit of butchering any messages she was in charge of delivering to the team. At one huddle, she was informing us of next weeks "Hispanic Appreciation Day" and that Mia Ranchito would be catered in for the team. The sad thing was the way she phrased it..."Every month, WE HAVE TO have something planned in celebration of diversity, so this time we are catering in food." Lol me and the flowteam lead told her she needed to "CHALLENGE UPWARDS" on that one, because we should have diversity parties because we like to, not because we HAVE TO!

-My first year at spot, me and my buddies would write great team cards to ourselves and put other people's name in the "spotted by:" line. We would write ourselves glowing recognitions for doing the most trivial, asinine stuff, to mock the practice and to make ourselves look good.

-When I was made flow trainer and given a lot of extra responsibilities without ever getting the team trainer raise, I use to make it part of my itinerary to teach people box knife fighting skills and proper defense stances, formations, and lines of egress to properly guard against etl attacks. This was done as an obvious joke lol, nobody was ever put in danger. The box knife fighting was an obvious gag that I would use as a segway into knife safety, because I really did believe in teaching knife safety. However, I was very proud of my salesfloor pathing as a mode of egress, because I strategically developed escape routes to avoid management while getting to crucial areas of the store (i.e. time clock, side exits lol)

Most of these were done as a way of blowing off steam when things had only began to hint at getting bad and I actually liked my job and tried hard at it. Funnily enough, the worse things became and the more I despised my job, the less joking around i did.
 

Dr Laytex

Thread Derailer
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
657
#2
Changing the Bike Indyme to say "Help needed at Meat".
Telling guests that the stuff in the back was for celebrities and A-list guests only.
Telling guests that I'll be right back and then go on my lunch.
Hiding one of those Halloween "life size" (can that be right?) ghost/ghoul things in the womens restroom. Right in your face as you open the door.
Putting on the chicken suit costume and running through the store.
Gotta love a ULV store.
 
B

Barcode

Guest
#3
Some of our cart attendants could use a sense of urgency... lol :D

Kinda funny because I've actually used that phrase o_O
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
18,117
#4
The only 'sense of urgency' ours have is when they have to use the bathroom.
Otherwise, not so much if ever...
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
18,117
#6
"TeamLead XXXX, approaching ETL off the starboard bow!"
"Shields up, specialist! Lock on phasers!"
"Locked on target, sir."
"Fire!"
"No effect! Target still approaching!"
"@#$% PDAs! *sigh* CIHYFS, ETL?"
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2011
Messages
422
#7
I remember one time I helped out in the backroom. There was a big box and a team member got in it. Another TM called me over to help with the team lift and the TM in the box popped out and said "Surprise!"
Wearing a Santa hat while unloading the truck on Christmas Eve.
Dancing and singing along with my iPod while pushing the truck. People laughed, but that was the goal.
 

bowlteambowl

Flow Fanatic
Joined
Nov 14, 2011
Messages
13
#8
The other day we got some product in that comes surrounded by fabulously gigantic sheets of bubble wrap. We brought a bunch of the bubble wrap with us to huddle and then spread it out on the floor for everyone to jump on. It was awesome.
 

talan123

Team Member/Troll
Joined
Jun 16, 2011
Messages
652
#9
At our Target, I took those gigantic great team member cards and wrote really "fun" stuff on them for everybody to enjoy and I am proud that 99% of the people got it.
 
Joined
Nov 11, 2011
Messages
4
#10
when i worked backroom I used to answer calls in spanish just to get laughs.
Also used to say HEY SALESFLOOR when they would call and say HEY BACKROOM that one always throws them off.
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,655
#11
\Hiding one of those Halloween "life size" (can that be right?) ghost/ghoul things in the womens restroom. Right in your face as you open the door.
That reminds me of the time i took DOZENS of rubber spiders from dollar spot and positioned them on the checklanes and in the womens restroom... Two dozen went in the restroom alone.
 

lovecats

Free At Last!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
1,109
#12
That reminds me of the time i took DOZENS of rubber spiders from dollar spot and positioned them on the checklanes and in the womens restroom... Two dozen went in the restroom alone.
We have real ones in our women's bathroom in the backroom. And they're almost as big as the ones from dollar spot:scare:.
 
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