Archived If your store had a team death battle, which team you win?

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I wanna combat some of the depression here

If the teams in your store had to fight to the death, who come out on top? Anything within the building is fair game.

I don't who'd win in my store, but Softlines would probably lose first due to being all old ladies :(

I guess backroom could run some people over with the crown or something
 
Hmm????

I see lots of fire and the compactor and bailer used in ways they were never intended. But the ETL's are the first ones gone.. The enemy of my enemy is my friend would happen. With cashiers used as Bantha Fodder.. In-Stocks would take up sneak attacking overnight flow.. POG would be bombed by all of hard lines and soft lines who would take high casualties - older or just petit females.

When in doubt - burn it.. ;)

This is all fiction... :)
 
HL1 in my store would have home improvement & sports equipment for weaponry, BR could fashion a dreadnought from the crown & wave, FA/SB would have LOTS of pans for armor & cutlery for hand-to-hand, HL2 could resort to chemical warfare & weapons from patio hardware, SL would be pretty hopeless except using lingerie for garrotes & restraints, PMT has tools to use defensively & a cage for protection. Depending on how loyal their team is, the ETLs would probably go down first.
 
HL1 in my store would have home improvement & sports equipment for weaponry, BR could fashion a dreadnought from the crown & wave, FA/SB would have LOTS of pans for armor & cutlery for hand-to-hand, HL2 could resort to chemical warfare & weapons from patio hardware, SL would be pretty hopeless except using lingerie for garrotes & restraints, PMT has tools to use defensively & a cage for protection. Depending on how loyal their team is, the ETLs would probably go down first.
Front end would use bags, or candy for defense?
 
Yeh, forgot about front end. Sheer numbers are on their side, if they all showed up.
If the attendance were usual (call-outs & NCNS), they'd fall faster than the ETLs.
 
Alright, here's my store.

ETLs would team up with the TLs for a mega-leadership team. I would expect the store to ally themselves against this team to take them out first. After this, it becomes each team for themselves. In addition, AP would join the leadership due to the AP office being close to the ETL and TL offices. They'd fall in the TM assault on leadership.

Each team would have their own base of operations. Front end would naturally try and keep the front lanes under their control. They are mostly older people, and would probably surrender to whichever team offered them the most protection/defeated them in battle. The only issue with fighting the front end is that they have two places to hold their own: Photo lab and the service desk. That said, the service desk TMs would likely hold out the longest of this group. It's blocked off by three walls, and a counter in front of it. An excellent place to defend. I'd expect the front end to fall first, almost directly after the leadership falls. They'd fall and each section of the front end would go to a different team, as I would expect the adrenaline from fighting the TLs would still be in people and they would fight the front end under this influence.

I see Starbucks, Food Ave, and Pharmacy splitting away from front end to become war profiteers. They would supply food and medicine to the highest paying team.

Softlines is mostly young women. They would hold the fitting room. Our fitting room has a small area behind the desk that holds some softlines fixtures. While softlines would be able to hold the fitting room for a while, the issue is defense. The walls of the fitting room do not reach the ceiling. Any attacking party would realize this, and climb over the walls to attack. The other problem softlines would have is holding their territory. The fitting room is beneficial to holding ready to wear, and the jewelry boat is only good for accessories, girls, and active wear. I'd see the jewelry boat falling first and the fitting room would go next. Softlines would be the second team out.

Electronics would team up with hardlines. This gives hardlines a safe base of operations as they now have the electronics boat as a command center. The market, also being small, would team up with hardlines. The issue for hardlines is holding the territory that they have. Electronics, toys, domestics, seasonal, pets, paper, chemicals, market, and HBA is a large portion of the store and is not ideal for defense. I would expect them to hold the two bases: Seasonal (currently lawn and patio) and electronics. The issue is communication. Their two bases are on opposite corners of the store. Actually keeping control of these two could be a logistical nightmare for the team.

Backroom and flow would combine to become one. Flow would be quite the team to fight. They would hold the entirety of the backroom, being able to block off the doors so there would only be one entrance into the backroom. They would have the possibility of taking the fixture room, but more on that later. I would see flow taking as the team to take down softlines.

Of all of these, presentation would survive the longest. They would likely spend the most time having to maintain control of the fire tunnel and the doors to the sales floor that lead to the fire tunnel, as the fixture room is located right off the tunnel. While this would be an issue, they would have no trouble splitting the backroom in half. Blocking off the fire tunnel would allow them to split the backroom in two. The amount of things in the fixture room would be excellent for traps around the store. It is with the presentation team that I would ally myself with.

So in my store, each team would rank the following:

N/A: Starbucks/Food Ave/Pharmacy
6th: Leadership
5th: Front end
4th: Softlines
3rd: Hardlines/electronics/market
2nd: Backroom/flow
1st: Presentation/signing/me
 
We have many pairs of extra hand cuffs in our AP office. Once those run out we could resort to using spiderwraps to restrain people. If we can take control of receiving then we have holding cells (empty trailers).

Oh yea the biggest advantage for AP would be use of cameras. We will see everything.
 
Dayum, Oath....
No wonder you were so awesome in Fantasy Target ;)
 
I agree with flow

On average they are the strongest TMs in the store. They're also the biggest team and would combined with Backroom and Reverse Log.
 
In my store I could see two things happening very quickly:

1. The entire team would combine to destroy the executive leadership team, even the senior and regular team leads would join this onslaught. This would be brutal, quick and leave no survivors.

2. Once the regular team has gotten this accomplished they would look around and realize who every single one of them hates...flow team. This would take longer and may result in casualties, but in pure numbers the rest of the team would rip flow team apart putting their body parts in random parts of the store in seemingly no order...just like flow team pushes our trucks.

At this point I could see everyone calling a temporary truce while they recover from the horrific battle that has just occurred. The backroom would team up with the PMT and reverse logistics to bar themselves off from the rest of the store. No one would be able to attack them. They have enough food and drinks to last for several months by which time the battle would be over.

The remaining teams are small and relatively unorganized and attempt to forge feeble alliances with other teams for mutual protection. The pharmacy team being both smaller and smarter than most of the rest of the store roll down their door and exit via the fire tunnel. Market team calls a huddle in the cooler which leads to the hardlines team pushing a flatbed of vendor wine in front of it trapping them in there to slowly freeze to death. Hardlines and softlines begin to build barricades in between one another with hot spots of fighting breaking out in infant hardlines as both sides claim it as their own. POG, Price and instocks form an alliance together under their team lead until they realize they are all older women and are quickly overpowered as they stand in between the budding hardlines/softlines war. Meanwhile the GSAs deal with a cashier rebellion by sicking the cart attendants on the cashiers who are brutally mauled to death. Unbeknownst to the cart attendants while they were dealing with the cashiers they were betrayed and set on from behind by the Starbucks and Food Avenue teams who have flanked them! It is a drawn out close quarters combat, but eventually the various knives, scissors. and hot pans lead to a victory for the combined Food Service team. Just when the Food Service team believes they have conquered the front end they are descended upon by the GSA team who hog tie them with spider wraps and stuff them in their own starbucks freezers! The GSA team now controls the front doors and leaves. Returning to the sales floor the hardlines team feels confident they can take down softlines due to their gender ratio, but just as the fighting begins the electronics team defects to the other side and hardlines is routed! Electronics and softlines then escape via the fire door in RTW and enjoy their well earned victory.

Surviving teams:
Backroom/PMT
Pharmacy
GSA
Electronics/Softlines

Teams in order of elimination:
Executives
Flow
Market
Presentation, Price, Instocks
Cashier
Carts
Food Service
Hardlines
 
The Backroom/Flow TL would sic the flow team on anyone on the salesfloor, using anything and everything as weapons.

While all of that carnage is going on, backroom, receiving, and ship from store would use the crown stackers and electric jack to quickly block all entrances to the Backroom with the heaviest pallets.

Then we just chill and wait for everyone to destroy themselves on the salesfloor. We have fresh food, drinks, pillows, bathrooms, and everything needed to survive an extended period.

Occasionally we would unblock the entrance along the BPLS aisle. And any time someone came in, just shove boxes onto them from the top shelf.




Just when it looks like Backroom is the only team left, they suddenly start dropping dead...We all forgot about the PMT who went up to the roof, mixed chemicals to create a poison gas, and distributed it through the HVAC system.
 
Presentation would be happy to show you how heavy those steel shelves are on the back of your head. And spine. And knees. Also we have access to hammers and drills, even more once we take out the PMT and commandeer their tool shed.

Specialty sections would be the most difficult not because of their ferocity, but because they have control of their area. Starbucks, food avenue, pharmacy, and AP could easily hole up and entering into their turf would be dangerous without proper coordination. I suggest using a crown stacker to tear down their territory piece by piece and offer them quick, merciful deaths. Unless they propose resources as homage and agree to be satellite states to the greater powers that rise.

Flow would be the toughest to take out simply because they are the largest cohesive group, and they would easily turn or ally with backroom and take over the heavy equipment.

Price change would be the stealthy ones, always lurking about in the shadows waiting to strike. They are the assassins presentation would look to for partnership. Be wary of walking alone in cosmetics or seasonal.

Cashiers and ETLs would be lambs to the lions. It would be brutal, monstrous, and the first event of destruction to happen.

HR would be used as liaison to communicate with the other groups, their positions tenuous as they strive for balance and survival.

Salesfloor would also follow destruction due to their slow decay over the years. Softlines would be a challenge due to the nature of many team members fearing the carpet. But once controlled fires have begun the ladies, and some gentleman, will be forced out of hiding and forced to fight. We can't be sure what the casualty rates will be, but it will be painful.

Market is gutted, weak, and easily would be bullied to provide resources for the new state to rise. Unlike them, however, Electronics will be destroyed so that there are no competitors.

FLOW TEAM, JOIN PRESENTATION AND DESTROY THE DAY WALKERS.
 
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I would say Hardlines and flow would team up. We'd have access to more weaponry. ETL's would probably be on our side too because they always have to win at everything. Softlines wouldn't stand a chance unless they want to throw shoes and z racks at us. The cashiers wouldn't care cause half of them don't want to be there anyways. Pharmacy and Market would be there to heal the wounded and give us sustenance during our breaks from war. I want this to happen so badly.
 
What's the context here? Is there a prize for being the Last Team Standing? Is there an apocalypse and we're fighting for resources? What about people who are cross trained- are they with their original team or do they get to choose, or are they free floating agents?

I really need to think about this.
 
Flow has the advantage of sheer numbers, disgruntled attitudes, and decent physical strength from manhandling boxes all night. Overnight backroom would likely unite with them since they consider themselves 1 team. Dayside backroom would join too since it would be suicide to do otherwise. Planogram/signing hate our flow team but I don't think they would want to try to hold the fire aisle when flanked by dozens of pissed off flow TMs on both sides and a very conveniently located freezer that would be perfect for holding uncooperative prisoners. They would likely fall in line or risk becoming popsicles.

Holding the backroom means having access to almost all heavy equipment, tools that make convenient bludgeoning weapons, mobility via pallet jacks, easy to defend choke points, and spray paint to spray on our faces while screaming "OH WHAT A LOVELY DAY!!" I'm pretty sure we could rig up a flame throwing guitar as well.

Only the front lanes have the numbers to challenge us but they have a significant amount of minors and elderly ladies.
 
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