Archived Team Member's fire back!

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Joined
Aug 20, 2012
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We all have our stories about guests being d*cks, so I thought it would be fun to tell your encounters with guests when you fired right back at them/get even somehow.

I'll add more later on but to get it started:

1.) Guest: I cannot believe your arguing with the customer, the customer is always right!
Me: No sir, at Target, the guest can be wrong.

2) I once told a guest that his homophobia was probably caused by being molested as a child by another man. Or that he was gay himself and hated himself for it.

3) Once a guest threw a shoe at me at GS because she couldn't return them. I told her to act her age, not her shoe size

4) Guest: "What gives you the ENTITLEMENT (emphasis on her part) to limit my purchases?!" (Guest was buying Pepsi products when it was on sale for a giftcard and reselling it at her convenience store she owned (I assume-I've seen her in that convenience store). I usually don't do this, but she wanted to buy a MASS quantity-something insane-and would have depleted our store inventory for other guests.
Me: *Hold up keys* *tilts head to examine them* "See these keys? Thats what gives me the ENTITLEMENT (sarcastic and emphasis on my part) to limit your purchases.

I'm sure I'll think of more later, I'll add them. Guest Services loved me! Not that I let them hear these really nasty comments, but I always laid down the law if I had to and never overrode their decisions, unless it was clearly an error.
 
Joined
Jun 11, 2011
Messages
147
There was a guest who was frantically looking for a lint roller of a certain size. She was walking back and forth and I told her to calm down. She told me don't tell me to calm down. She even went as far as telling the manager I should be fired. She said, no in a "are you kidding me?" manner.

There was a team lead who was arguing with a guest at customer service. She ended the conversation and left. As she walked away, the team lead, without moving a mouth muscle, "F*** you". (It sounded like ha ya.)

There was a time I was helping a guest, whom I was already uptight with, withj a price check. I had to leave the area (no scanner was around) and when I came back I found the cart attendant helping them (he was about to call on the radio for assistance). I took a deep breath, and while thinking to myself, he does not know anything about the sales floor, he is a cart attendant. Unfortunately, only a few words come out which were, he does not know anything. He took offense to that (probably because he is disabled?) After helping the guest with the price check, I immediately apologized to the cart attendant and told him why I made that statement.
 

mrknownothing

purveyor of things
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
10,148
Earlier this year, one of our cashiers who survived seasonal cuts was working her last shift, and after she turned her light off to leave, a guest started to unload her nearly overflowing cart of groceries. Cashier told the lady that her lane was closed - her light was off before the lady cam over, so the lady starts *****ing at her, and the cashier argues back until the lady storms off. After the lady left, the cashier cashed out in my lane and told me and the GSA the whole story.

One night when I was helping push reshop in hardlines, our then-"new GSTL" sent a lady back to domestics to check a sign for the ottoman she wanted to exchange. We were out of the one she wanted to get (and go figure, it was discontinued and out of stock), so she starts demanding that the Instocks TL (who was closing in hardlines that night) let her do a substitution. He wouldn't let her no matter what she said (and he's normally a very nice guy, very accommodating most of the time), so she went so far as to call him a ****ing hardass, and she announced very loudly that she was going to take her business to Walmart instead. TL says loudly to a nearby hardlines TM, "have Guest Service call Walmart to warn them about that lady."
 
M

mxrbook

Guest
Read the sign behind me, sir. We can refuse returns if you do not have a legitimate receipt.

No, I don't care if your mother bought $600 worth of cosmetics and lost the receipt and you want the cash for them.

This return is declined.

Says me.

Yes, you are welcome to take these items to another Target store. And, yes, our AP will be notifying all the Target stores in the area of your intentions with a full description of the items. Have a nice day.
 
Joined
Aug 20, 2012
Messages
34
At my new job at UPS, when I just worked in tracking packages:
Beep Beep TRACK (indicates call is coming in)
Me: This is Joshua, how may I help you?
Customer: You can help me by telling me where my fuc*ing package!!
Me: Sure, whats your fuc*ing tracking number

Thank god it wasn't a recorded/listened to corporate/call center call haha. It just blurted out!
 
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
579
When a guest starts their bull**** about a damaged item and expresses 10% discount isn't enough, I then explain we do not sell damaged items, and thank them for bringing it to me so I can defect it out. If they are an ass then most of the time I will just explain things to them like they are 5. If I don't feel like playing their game then I will just state something like - The price is so and so, do you still want it?
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
19,765
One of our younger cashiers overheard a guest pointing out miniscule flaws on a girl's nightstand (angling for a discount). She finished her commentary with "Why should I pay full price for such a scuffed-up piece?"
The younger cashier next lane piped up: "Tell 'em you got it at Pottery Barn!"
 

pzychopopgroove

cyberpunk//my little pony
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
1,652
At my new job at UPS, when I just worked in tracking packages:
Beep Beep TRACK (indicates call is coming in)
Me: This is Joshua, how may I help you?
Customer: You can help me by telling me where my fuc*ing package!!
Me: Sure, whats your fuc*ing tracking number

Thank god it wasn't a recorded/listened to corporate/call center call haha. It just blurted out!

That's hilarious!
 
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
2,726
As a guest tried to pass off yet another fraudulent "purple drank" script for his "grandfather" (who, curiously enough was listed as FEMALE on the script and, of course, wasn't in our system), our pharmacist told him we were sold out and wouldn't have any until the following day (Of course, this was 5 minutes before closing on a Sunday...). The idiot comes back the following day to pick up the script (which hadn't been filled, of course because we verified it with the doctor, who basically said "OH HELL NO!" and couldn't name ANY of the information on the script except the medication and the patient's name....couldn't even get the DOB right! (Which, I should point out, would have mad his "grandfather" about 2 when he was born)
 
Joined
Jun 10, 2011
Messages
244
Today I pulled out my cartoon black hole and descended into the bowels of Target to get that freaking umbrella that we still have "because it says so online". I'm still down there looking.

It's not in there, Rarejem. It's in the bottomless cartoon bag that's holds everything there is and it's right next the all of the item's someone said we carry.
 
M

mxrbook

Guest
It's there. You're just too stupid to find it. I got the "Yes, you *say* you're a supervisor, but there's got to be someone here who's smarter than you." And then she acted surprised when I refused her return. hahahahaha
 
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
622
had a guest today ask me about if we had anymore of a specific set of hangers in the back. after telling her i could check on it for her, we just have to go over to the hanger aisle so i can get the item number, she proclaims "you know what, nevermind, i will just go to bed bath and beyond, they always have those in stock there". you're right, walking 50 feet is way harder then checking out, getting in your car, driving 45 minutes to the closest BB&B and seeing if they have it there. right. but whatever. or that because you said that i can magically check backroom stock levels for a product halfway across the store with no equipment.........i told her "okay then, have a great day".
 

Mr Quickart

Cart Magician turned GSTL
Joined
Jun 15, 2011
Messages
177
One of our younger cashiers overheard a guest pointing out miniscule flaws on a girl's nightstand (angling for a discount). She finished her commentary with "Why should I pay full price for such a scuffed-up piece?"
The younger cashier next lane piped up: "Tell 'em you got it at Pottery Barn!"

I had a guest like this a few months ago and decided to play her game, but with my rules. I offered a 2% discount (roughly $0.75 off). The look on her face was priceless!
 

redeye58

Hasta Ba Rista, Baby!
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
19,765
Whenever they tried to angle for a hefty discount for 'damage', I'd tell 'em that no, we could charge it back to the manf & get full cost rather than take a hit. Then they say "Well, never mind." But I almost always see them buying it later.
Yeh, called yer bluff....
 
Joined
Sep 4, 2012
Messages
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It's probably already been covered in here, but one of the most hilarious things I've had to deal with is the crazy asian families that come into my store and try to walk out with like 4 or 5 iPod touch or iPads at a time. When you tell them they can't use the 10% off coupon more than once a day, and at Christmas time you're limited to 1 per person, they get really pissed off. They'll say a whole bunch of nasty things about how you're ugly and stupid, or how you're lying to them about the policies. One guy had a 2 year old with him in his arms when he tried to buy it, and yelled at me and told me his son was coming back to buy it. Then try to come back after about 45 minutes-- also probably after trying another store that sells iPods and iPads.

Another favorite scenario of mine is as a cart attendant, when people aren't paying attention and they back up into your line of cars that was there before they started their engine, and then SCREAM at you about how you're doing everything wrong and it was your fault, even though they didn't even bother to look behind them.

Guests, man.
 
Joined
Aug 18, 2012
Messages
9
Ah, this is one I can relate to.

I work early morning flow, and it was MAYBE 8:30 (start time 4:00am) a guest comes up to me and rather than addressing me like a normal person in order to get my attention, she shouts out, "Hey, stocker boy." It this point, I'm hungry from a long shift, I'm ready to go eat. She finally asks, "Where do you keep your damn trash cans in this place? I NEED a kitchen trash can and YOU can't tell me where."

I stopped in the middle of my case, stood up and turned around with a rather confused look on my face. All I did was turn around and point to the furthest corner of the store, pointed and said, "They're in that corner of the store, there should be somebody on that side of the store that can tell you the exact location."

Whats sad? She probably had the wrong attitude with the FIRST flow team member, got pointed to grocery. I just continue the trend.

Having the right attitude towards retail workers is the difference between being the 50% that gets everything they want, and the 50% that don't.
 
Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
80
I suppose this is more like silent karma.

Had a lady come in and was just rude to the core. She asked me about some TVs and I told her everything important and then she asks me if there's "a man around, cause they know more about this stuff than women do."

Like for realsies?

So I get my other tm because I'm just done with her. He goes over and I just huff off, then I hear him call me back. Before I can even reach there, I hear him telling someone, "my boss is coming back, she's a computer engineer and she would know more than anyone in the entire store."

I look at rude lady in the eye soul, "well hello again!"
 

oath2order

Scary Socialist
Joined
Oct 24, 2013
Messages
9,890
I had an old lady who was using an eyeliner pencil for her eyebrows and she didn't understand why it wasn't working. When I showed her the right product to use, she wanted me to find "that woman that always works over here" (referring to the Boots vendor lady). She wasn't there for the day so I just grabbed the softlines TM nearby who proceeded to explain exactly what I said.
 

IhaveaDream

Punching Bag
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
290
Told some lady we didnt carry the book she was looking for. She pulled out her phone and said "it says right here you guys have it."
I touch her screen to scroll down and point out the "Sold Online Only." I then told her to show her like 6 year old child what I showed her.
I feels bad for that kid.
 
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