Archived “Guest” Harrassment

[Tessa120]

Seems irrational,hysterical and unintelligent.

One in four women have been sexually assaulted at least once in their lives. 1 in 4, that's a huge number. We have to be aware of what is happening around us, be aware of potential threats. We have to take threatening behavior seriously. Men don't face these horrible things at anywhere near the rate that women do, so they don't have to be on their guard constantly and they are the target of creepy behavior far less frequently. When something is rarely a threat or serious concern to you, it is very easy to feel that it's rarely a threat to anyone at all and anyone concerned is over-reacting, instead of realizing that differences in the situation (like gender) can seriously skew the odds of being the victim of a violent crime.

I'll be that person and throw out the race card. Philando Castile had a conceal carry permit, told the cop he had a conceal carry permit, told the cop that there was a pistol in the car, and was shot to death after he reached for his ID as he had been told to do. I'm white, my husband is white, and my husband got pulled over for speeding 3 times while his pistol was in the car. All three times, he told the cop he had a conceal carry permit and the pistol was in the car, all three times he was asked for his conceal carry permit and the pistol, which he handed over rather than the cop reaching for it directly, all three times he sat in the car while the cop ran the serial number and wrote up the ticket, and all three times he was sent on his merry way. Would it be very easy for people like my husband and I to say that there's no real danger of a cop shooting if you are carrying weapons legally and therefore people who get shot must be criminals? Yeah, it would be easy. Is it reality? Nope. That's how it is with men's perception of the level of danger women are in from guys who think they "own" women and can do whatever. It's not in men's faces, so easy to downplay, but the reality is far different and far more dangerous than the perception.

 

[Greenie]

I had AP trespass a shifty creepy guy.

He kind of followed me around the store and when I realized it I asked him if he needed help. He told me I was beautiful. I repeated myself and he said he just wanted to see a beautiful woman.

Told AP afterward and they kind of said so sorry Greenie. Can’t do anything he hasn’t really done anything wrong.

A week later shifty creepy guy is back and tells me he wants to have sex with me. In not so nice of terms.

Call AP. They trespass him.

He comes back a few weeks later. AP calls the police because he won’t leave the store.

Now why the hell did they have to wait until he was lewd? I would have preferred not to have had to deal with him at all after the first time he came in.

All that to say I am sorry you aren’t getting resolution.

 

[IWishIKnew]

Like Planoss, many people don't see following women around and making unwelcome comments as "doing anything wrong." For some reason, we need to wait until the creepy guy gets lewd, or gropes, or gets violent before they are willing to, perhaps, acknowledge that he "did anything wrong" and even then, he didn't mean anything by it, we should be flattered, we must have done something to encourage them and on and on and on.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Repeatedly following anyone around should be seen as creepy, comments or no comments, regardless of gender. (Although quite a few women will tell you it’s probably going to escalate to at least that level based on experience being on the receiving end.). If they’re not actively looking to buy something and they’re following and/or bothering TMs they’re interfering with the TMs ability to work and need to leave. If more people recognized these warning signs, far fewer people (men and women alike) would fear harassment or harm during or after work and it would benefit everyone’s safety. I’ve seen women get trespassed for stalking and later threatening to assault male TMs at my store for not accepting their advances. It’s a bigger problem than most people think, and it’s not just guys that are guilty of doing it, although it’s more likely to be recognized if a guy is doing it.

 

[Planosss]

One in four women have been sexually assaulted at least once in their lives. 1 in 4, that's a huge number. We have to be aware of what is happening around us, be aware of potential threats. We have to take threatening behavior seriously. Men don't face these horrible things at anywhere near the rate that women do, so they don't have to be on their guard constantly and they are the target of creepy behavior far less frequently. When something is rarely a threat or serious concern to you, it is very easy to feel that it's rarely a threat to anyone at all and anyone concerned is over-reacting, instead of realizing that differences in the situation (like gender) can seriously skew the odds of being the victim of a violent crime.

I'll be that person and throw out the race card. Philando Castile had a conceal carry permit, told the cop he had a conceal carry permit, told the cop that there was a pistol in the car, and was shot to death after he reached for his ID as he had been told to do. I'm white, my husband is white, and my husband got pulled over for speeding 3 times while his pistol was in the car. All three times, he told the cop he had a conceal carry permit and the pistol was in the car, all three times he was asked for his conceal carry permit and the pistol, which he handed over rather than the cop reaching for it directly, all three times he sat in the car while the cop ran the serial number and wrote up the ticket, and all three times he was sent on his merry way. Would it be very easy for people like my husband and I to say that there's no real danger of a cop shooting if you are carrying weapons legally and therefore people who get shot must be criminals? Yeah, it would be easy. Is it reality? Nope. That's how it is with men's perception of the level of danger women are in from guys who think they "own" women and can do whatever. It's not in men's faces, so easy to downplay, but the reality is far different and far more dangerous than the perception.

I guess we just have to disagree. I can’t write a purely emotional paragraph, based on fake media accounts and manipulated google search results. Ignoring the facts that the OP posted, and I quote “ he followed me around trying to get me to HELP him”
If that is threatening behavior then I am guilty of it, when I am trying to find “ size 5 Elsa shoes” from the movie Frozen at Walmart for my 3 year old daughter. By following ,God forbid, a female employee who can’t seem to hear me, because she is deaf, and I have to either walk really fast and get infront of her (creepy) or tap on her shoulder (sexual assault) so she can HELP me , because its her job.
Just like the great Justice Thomas said in Her V. Him “ you are entitled to your own pussy, but not your own assumptions ,about ,who ,wants a piece, of your pussy”

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Ignoring the facts that the OP posted, and I quote “ he followed me around trying to get me to HELP him”
If that is threatening behavior then I am guilty of it, when I am trying to find “ size 5 Elsa shoes” from the movie Frozen at Walmart for my 3 year old daughter. By following ,God forbid, a female employee who can’t seem to hear me, because she is deaf, and I have to either walk really fast and get infront of her (creepy) or tap on her shoulder (sexual assault) so she can HELP me , because its her job.
Just like the great Justice Thomas said in Her V. Him “ you are entitled to your own pussy, but not your own assumptions ,about ,who ,wants a piece, of your pussy”

OP also mentioned this guy has stalked at least one other Tm before, which is reason to be wary in her case, especially because it would seem he has fixated on her now. There’s a difference between that and the scenario you describe where you needed help finding an item. Also, tapping someone on the shoulder is generally a little weird when you don’t know the person because some people may have reason to be jumpier when people touch them unexpectedly due to experiences in their past, even if you didn’t mean to startle them.

 

[Planosss]

OP also mentioned this guy has stalked at least one other Tm before, which is reason to be wary in her case, especially because it would seem he has fixated on her now. There’s a difference between that and the scenario you describe where you needed help finding an item. Also, tapping someone on the shoulder is generally a little weird when you don’t know the person because some people may have reason to be jumpier when people touch them unexpectedly due to experiences in their past, even if you didn’t mean to startle them.

So what would you do in the scenario I described?, look for a able bodied male employee, and don’t bother the female employee for fear of Chris Hansen coming out of the aisle saying you are a filthy predator?

Edited to add the word filthy in there fyi

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Well, yeah, if it seemed like the person was ignoring me and I wasn’t gonna get a response, I’d move on and find another employee (gender honestly doesn’t matter, willingness to help does) to ask rather than waste my time trying to get the first one’s attention. Maybe note the area to mention to a manager if I run into one so others don’t have the same issue.

 

[Planosss]

Well, yeah, if it seemed like the person was ignoring me and I wasn’t gonna get a response, I’d move on and find another employee (gender honestly doesn’t matter, willingness to help does) to ask rather than waste my time trying to get the first one’s attention. Maybe note the area to mention to a manager if I run into one so others don’t have the same issue.

No, bro ,the girl at Walmart was literally deaf, as in sign language. Cause even when I got infront of her, she couldn’t hear me , she used sign language, it was like all of her fingers where in a fist form, except her middle finger. I dont speak braile or whatever its called so i dont know.I guess by some of you guys’s standard,she has no place in retail, or in this world maybe.

 

[BullseyeBlues]

Then tapping on the shoulder would be fine to get her attention if need be, if you know how to communicate to her what you needed. I wouldn’t know how to say it in sign language, personally. She could definitely be a godsend for a Walmart guest who is also deaf or hard of hearing, so she still definitely has a place in retail.

 

[Planosss]

Then tapping on the shoulder would be fine to get her attention if need be, if you know how to communicate to her what you needed. I wouldn’t know how to say it in sign language, personally. She could definitely be a godsend for a Walmart guest who is also deaf or hard of hearing, so she still definitely has a place in retail.

Totally, Godsend. truly Walmart Gold!

 

[Stuff2]

No, bro ,the girl at Walmart was literally deaf, as in sign language. Cause even when I got infront of her, she couldn’t hear me , she used sign language, it was like all of her fingers where in a fist form, except her middle finger. I dont speak braile or whatever its called so i dont know.I guess by some of you guys’s standard,she has no place in retail, or in this world maybe.

You know what? All you ever seem to do around here is act like a dick to OPs who come here to vent and talk shit about every work center and TM like they're just the worst. Are you just here to troll, or are you actually this uptight and bitter to everyone you actually work with (and how can they stand you?)?

 

[Planosss]

You know what? All you ever seem to do around here is act like a dick to OPs who come here to vent and talk shit about every work center and TM like they're just the worst. Are you just here to troll, or are you actually this uptight and bitter to everyone you actually work with (and how can they stand you?)?

I am a human being. I dont know what a troll is. Yes I am this uptight and the people that work with me love it.
I am not bitter. Dont call me bitter. You wouldn’t like me when I am bitter!

 

[commiecorvus]

No, bro ,the girl at Walmart was literally deaf, as in sign language. Cause even when I got infront of her, she couldn’t hear me , she used sign language, it was like all of her fingers where in a fist form, except her middle finger. I dont speak braile or whatever its called so i dont know.I guess by some of you guys’s standard,she has no place in retail, or in this world maybe.

It's called ASL or American Sign Language.
Proper etiquette is to step within the range of vision and wave.
Writing what you need on a piece of paper or on your smart phone works really well.
I work with deaf people every day and only know the most basic sign.
They know how to communicate with hearing people and are happy to do everything they can to make it easy for you.
One of the staff at the Target I worked at was deaf.
She was a great employee and as long as the customers would give her a chance could always work things out.

 

[Tessa120]

It's called ASL or American Sign Language.
Proper etiquette is to step within the range of vision and wave.
Writing what you need on a piece of paper or on your smart phone works really well.
I work with deaf people every day and only know the most basic sign.
They know how to communicate with hearing people and are happy to do everything they can to make it easy for you.
One of the staff at the Target I worked at was deaf.
She was a great employee and as long as the customers would give her a chance could always work things out.

That last line, yes. We've got someone who doesn't speak English where I work. The times where she's tracked me down with guests in tow they didn't seem put off, quite pleasant in fact. Clearly the language barrier is not that big of an issue in relaying the need for help and to follow to get help.

 

[Frontlanegirl]

Like Planoss, many people don't see following women around and making unwelcome comments as "doing anything wrong." For some reason, we need to wait until the creepy guy gets lewd, or gropes, or gets violent before they are willing to, perhaps, acknowledge that he "did anything wrong" and even then, he didn't mean anything by it, we should be flattered, we must have done something to encourage them and on and on and on.

I have had softline girls feel uncomfortable around guys who come into the store, hang around their area, ask them for their phone numbers, ask when they are going on break or lunch, etc. I tell them if they feel uncomfortable to call AP or an LOD right away. Most of the girls are still in HS or in college and this is their first job. They should not have to come to work and feel threatened.

 

[Tessa120]

Nearly all the guys that come in and make their way to me are just people. Some are friendly, some are angry, but whatever. Two guys though gave off a weird vibe and found reason for more help. Both times, I was asked out on a date. Sensing weird vibes is a danger instinct and can be very, very accurate.