Archived Funny conversations

[EvanM07]

I remember when I registered on the site before it went down there was a section in the forums about strange/funny/wacky walkie conversations that people were posting and I found quite a few of them quite amusing.

I don't personally have any at the moment that I can remember and I'm not sure under what section of the forum it was previously under but I figured I'd give it a push-start here!

So have at it! Give us you're most interesting walkie conversations you have either had yourself or you have just overheard!

 

[Pettjm54]

I remember when I registered on the site before it went down there was a section in the forums about strange/funny/wacky walkie conversations that people were posting and I found quite a few of them quite amusing.

I don't personally have any at the moment that I can remember and I'm not sure under what section of the forum it was previously under but I figured I'd give it a push-start here!

So have at it! Give us you're most interesting walkie conversations you have either had yourself or you have just overheard!

ETL: Cart attendant come in...

..
ETL: Cart attendant?
GSA: Sporting goods come in..
ETL: No its cool Barbara I wasnt calling anyone. thanks.
GSA Barbara: He didnt respond to you so oh well.
ETL: well neither did sporting goods so hah
sporting goods TM: go for sporting goods..
GSA Barbara: you were saying?
ETL: Youre both fired...

 

[EvanM07]

ETL: Can a team member call lane 7 for a price check. The item is "personal lubricant"? What the heck is personal lubricant?

Everyone with a walkie: Laughter and indistinct jokes....

Couldn't believe the guy didn't know what lube was!!!

 

[Bullseye Flow TM]

Evan, I can only imagine what the guests were thinking when they overheard this conversation. You know there are quests throughout the store that can hear our conversations. Thanks for sharing, it gave me a chuckle an ETL would say that!

 

[SrTLRep]

This was definitely not a "brand" conversation..

I was in the meat cooler pulling a batch.

TL: Whats your location?
Me: Pulling the meat.
TL: *silence*
*laughter outside the cooler door*
Me: umm..batch
TL: Is it safe to come in?
ETL: Don't EVEN go there...

Yes, I was embarrassed.

 

[Bullseye Flow TM]

This was definitely not a "brand" conversation..

I was in the meat cooler pulling a batch.

TL: Whats your location?
Me: Pulling the meat.
TL: *silence*
*laughter outside the cooler door*
Me: umm..batch
TL: Is it safe to come in?
ETL: Don't EVEN go there...

Yes, I was embarrassed.

Thank you so much for the chuckles. Sometimes you don't realize how something sounds until after it was said. I'm sure you got the ribbing from other TMs about that! Thanks for sharing. Gonna have to share this one with my coworkers tomorrow.

 

[EvanM07]

HAHA Thats hilarious!

 

[mrknownothing]

This was definitely not a "brand" conversation..

I was in the meat cooler pulling a batch.

TL: Whats your location?
Me: Pulling the meat.
TL: *silence*
*laughter outside the cooler door*
Me: umm..batch
TL: Is it safe to come in?
ETL: Don't EVEN go there...

Yes, I was embarrassed.

Being a cashier, I don't normally hear a lot of walkie conversations, but I think I'd die if I heard this on the GSTL's walkie while helping a guest.

 

[commiecorvus]

"Test, test, test"
"I'm sorry. You've tested positive."

 

[Lady Fitting Room]

This wasn't a walkie conversation, but no sense in starting a new thread for it.

I was standing by the time clock one morning waiting to clock in and overheard the following exchange between two gentlemen from building maintenance:

Gent. 1: "Man, Target sure loves acronyms, huh?"
Gent. 2: "No kidding, and most seem to have three letters: LOD, TSC, ETL..."
Gent. 1 [chuckling]: "What do they call the customers, SOBs?"

It made me laugh.

 

[FrontEndKnowItAll]

^ Hahaha I only wish we could!!

 

[Barcode]

This wasn't a walkie conversation, but no sense in starting a new thread for it.

I was standing by the time clock one morning waiting to clock in and overheard the following exchange between two gentlemen from building maintenance:

Gent. 1: "Man, Target sure loves acronyms, huh?"
Gent. 2: "No kidding, and most seem to have three letters: LOD, TSC, ETL..."
Gent. 1 [chuckling]: "What do they call the customers, SOBs?"

It made me laugh.

 

[EvanM07]

At my store our STL used to work in AP so he requested to have one of the 6 channel AP radios as his regular one. And every so often whenever some of us TPS go to channel 5 or 6 for AP based convo's he will listen in.

Well the other day myself and another TPS were watching an individual, myself on cameras and him on the sales floor. He couldn't find the individual for about 5 minutes and I kept communicating locations to him. When he finally found the person he said in a Dave Chappelle style voice "GOTCHA B*ITCH!" pretty loud over the walkie. The last thing I heard was our STL saying "TPS.... my office... NOW".

Needless to say my coworker pretty much shat himself at that point. Lol

 

[Barcode]

At my store our STL used to work in AP so he hrequested to have one of the 6 channel AP radios as his regular one. And every so often whenever some of us TPS go to channel 5 or 6 for AP based convo's he will listen in.

Well the other day myself and another TPS were watching an individual, myself on cameras and him on the sales floor. He couldn't find the individual for about 5 minutes and I kept communicating locations to him. When he finally found the person he said in a Dave Chappelle style voice "GOTCHA B*ITCH!" pretty loud over the walkie. The last thing I heard was our STL saying "TPS.... my office... NOW".

Needless to say my coworker pretty much shat himself at that point. Lol

Haha thats great. Not sure why he'd say that if hes on the sales floor though, kinda risky.


Had an epic call button fail tonight at my store..... Seasonal Call button goes off, and we have it sitting on top of a glass table in the seasonal department... One of our sales floor guys responds to it, lo and behold a minute later we hear it hit 3rd request.... I was kinda like hmmm thats odd, its not THAT busy tonight..... Then after about another 20 seconds the SF TM said over the walkie "Where'd the call button go??? Its gone..."

About 10 minutes later it finally got cleared lol. I guess some kid/guest decided to carry it around or something

 

[ach5063]

Had an epic call button fail tonight at my store..... Seasonal Call button goes off, and we have it sitting on top of a glass table in the seasonal department... One of our sales floor guys responds to it, lo and behold a minute later we hear it hit 3rd request.... I was kinda like hmmm thats odd, its not THAT busy tonight..... Then after about another 20 seconds the SF TM said over the walkie "Where'd the call button go??? Its gone..."

About 10 minutes later it finally got cleared lol. I guess some kid/guest decided to carry it around or something

Oh my! I wish we had "mobile" call buttons. I'd like to hide my "video games" one on peak nights.. when im the only electronics TM and people just dont understand that, and continue to push the button.

Anyways, back to walkie convos:

GSTL: Guest first on green, XXX can you come up?
TM: Umm, i'm partnering with John on an issue rt now. [No TM's named John there]
GSTL: Umm can it wait? We're backed up bad.. what kind of issue?
TM: Umm... a bladder issue?
GSTL: WHAT?
Other TM: GSTL XXX Go to 4.
-everyone at this time switches to 4-
Other TM: He's taking a piss!!

 

[Barcode]

Oh my! I wish we had "mobile" call buttons. I'd like to hide my "video games" one on peak nights.. when im the only electronics TM and people just dont understand that, and continue to push the button.

Anyways, back to walkie convos:

GSTL: Guest first on green, XXX can you come up?
TM: Umm, i'm partnering with John on an issue rt now. [No TM's named John there]
GSTL: Umm can it wait? We're backed up bad.. what kind of issue?
TM: Umm... a bladder issue?
GSTL: WHAT?
Other TM: GSTL XXX Go to 4.
-everyone at this time switches to 4-
Other TM: He's taking a piss!!

lol wtf

 

[DotWarner]

Oh my! I wish we had "mobile" call buttons. I'd like to hide my "video games" one on peak nights.. when im the only electronics TM and people just dont understand that, and continue to push the button.

Anyways, back to walkie convos:

GSTL: Guest first on green, XXX can you come up?
TM: Umm, i'm partnering with John on an issue rt now. [No TM's named John there]
GSTL: Umm can it wait? We're backed up bad.. what kind of issue?
TM: Umm... a bladder issue?
GSTL: WHAT?
Other TM: GSTL XXX Go to 4.
-everyone at this time switches to 4-
Other TM: He's taking a piss!!

LOL!
I hope there were no sound effects involved.

 

[ach5063]

Haha no, this time there werent. But our GSTL does like to announce when she's in the bathroom and exactly whats going on and how well things are going for her.

ughhhh :blowup:

 

[Barcode]

lol i just turn my walkie off in the restroom

 

[redeye58]

Haha no, this time there werent. But our GSTL does like to announce when she's in the bathroom and exactly whats going on and how well things are going for her.

ughhhh :blowup:

Tmi, tmi, tmi, TMI!

 

[ach5063]

You're telling me. This proving to me that the politics in my store are STRONG. Nothing will ever get that woman fired.

 

[FiFoMaster]

Here's one i heard a looong time ago at my old store...

GSTL: Cart Attendant, the restrooms need attention.
CA: Ya ill be in in a sec, lemme get these last bit of carts.

5 minutes pass

CA: Umm, GSTL, Bathroom needs your attention.
GSTL: Sorry im watching the lanes right now, what is it concerning?
CA: I think a Poo-Bomb went off in here. It's like, everywhere! Even the ceiling!
GSTL: Oh dear lord..
ETL-GE: Someone call for me?

At my current store this would have gotten some coachings but that store was on a large college campus so everyone there was rather laid back and witty.

 

[DotWarner]

Haha no, this time there werent. But our GSTL does like to announce when she's in the bathroom and exactly whats going on and how well things are going for her.

ughhhh :blowup:

I wouldn't want to be near your store during her "time of the month." I'm sure the whole store knows when that is if she's that informative during her bathroom breaks.

 

[HR King]

Haha no, this time there werent. But our GSTL does like to announce when she's in the bathroom and exactly whats going on and how well things are going for her.

ughhhh :blowup:

We have team members who answer walkie calls in the bathroom. And you can totally tell because of the echo and/or flush. That's so gross. I always turn my walkie off when I use the bathroom.

 

[Barcode]

Here's one i heard a looong time ago at my old store...

GSTL: Cart Attendant, the restrooms need attention.
CA: Ya ill be in in a sec, lemme get these last bit of carts.

5 minutes pass

CA: Umm, GSTL, Bathroom needs your attention.
GSTL: Sorry im watching the lanes right now, what is it concerning?
CA: I think a Poo-Bomb went off in here. It's like, everywhere! Even the ceiling!
GSTL: Oh dear lord..
ETL-GE: Someone call for me?

At my current store this would have gotten some coachings but that store was on a large college campus so everyone there was rather laid back and witty.