Archived no common sense

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redcounts

redcounts

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Aug 22, 2013
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All weekend It was hard to get my workload done,walking each guest to every isle even if it was right in front of them or a few steps away. every minute, questions like wheres the kleenex?

right in front of you.

Where is the milk?

Straight ahead.

excuse me, where is the produce bags?
The guest asks while standing right in front of them.

Right there.

and we have 5 produce bag rolls out on the sales floor..

Excuse me where is the garbage bags?

The isle is just a few steps away.

then she says where? can you please walk me to them?

excuse me do you sell the cock popcorn?

I said i never heard of such a thing i couldn't help myself but laugh.

she was like the popcock?

I search popcock...no results..

Then i remember we have a seasonal popcorn called poppycock..

showed her to the isle and we had it.

I couldnt help myself but laugh the whole time helping this lady

I mean, i could understand if you forgot to bring your glasses to the store. But really?

Anyone else get any silly questions?
 
It drives me mad when a guest walks no more than 10 feet past the entrance and just hollers, "BREAD?" at someone because they want to know where the bread is. Hey dickhead, maybe if you actually walk into the fucking store and looked, you'd find the bread. You can't even bother to ask a proper question like, "Excuse me, where can I find the bread?" Noooooo, you just belch out, "BAHREAD?" at the nearest red shirt. For fucks sake.
 
for some reason no one can fucking see the ink at my store

walk right past it to get to the boat

wheres the ink?

walk to the boat without even looking

wheres the ink?

i point them the 2 aisles down it is and they wALK RIGHT PAST IT

WHERES THE INK?? DIDNT ?? SEE??? IT???

g o d
 
I always hear "where's the pet food", which is right near the front of the store. You either pass softlines or you pass pet food. So good chance the guest already passed it.

"Where's the bathroom"

And my favorite, "where's the exit". Same place you entered moron
 
Where's the front doors

I need a cart that doesn't squeak (while in the back of the store or next to the cart well)

I am looking for this thing...its yeah long...you hang it...and it holds you know....

I am looking for that movie with That Guy....and That Girl

Will my kids love this...

Why did my check (or card) get denied...

Where is your Return Policy...I don't see it anywhere.

Will this fit in my car...
 
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Today got walkied that a guest was on the phone who had a question about vacuums. I take the call and it is a woman with a horrible cellphone connection. Was finally able to figure out she was calling about a belt. Go to the vac wall and see we only have the belts for the Bissel brand. She wants to know what models they were for. I read off what it says on the package but, again, the connection is crappy so I had to repeat myself a few times. Finally tell her it's probably best if she came in and looked at it herself. She says that's OK, she's currently in the girls clothing department and will be over! Yes, she called from inside the store to see if we had something in another department in the store!!!

Luckily, it was time for my lunch break or I would have been termed today for bitch slapping her when she showed up at the vac wall.
 
Why can't a guest ever ask a deep philosophical question? "Where are the Crock Pots, and also what would you say makes a life meaningful?"; "Are the adult diapers over here, and do I have the free will to obtain them as I please or was this all predetermined?
 
I mean, I help people when I'm at work.

Guess I've been doing it wrong :/. Will I still get paid???
 
I'm looking for something... but I can't quite explain it.. do you know what it is? Here, maybe he can help me! (walks to different TM)

"I don't need to show you my ID for this cold medicine!" uh yes you do you slack dicked jambroni. Next time someone gives me attitude I'm not even calling a GSTL or LOD over, I'm going to state "It's the law, do you want this, or are you gonna give me this attitude any longer?" I know I've told the story about the time a really young couple in their 20's refused to show me their ID and I had the GSTL and LOD come over and the LOD gave them the most honest straight up answer, it was great, now it's my turn. She can't get the honor to do it again! Because I want to be the one.. lmao.
 
A week ago some guest asked me if we carried "chocolate bells". I had no clue what she was talking about, I asked for more details. She told me, "I don't know, they're chocolate bells. I don't know who makes them, but I buy them here every time (guests' favorite line btw). After a couple minutes of trying to figure out wtf she was talking about, it dawned on me that she was talking about Hershey's kisses.
 
Target NPC said:
It drives me mad when a guest walks no more than 10 feet past the entrance and just hollers, "BREAD?" at someone because they want to know where the bread is. Hey dickhead, maybe if you actually walk into the fucking store and looked, you'd find the bread. You can't even bother to ask a proper question like, "Excuse me, where can I find the bread?" Noooooo, you just belch out, "BAHREAD?" at the nearest red shirt. For fucks sake.
Click to expand...
When someone does that I shout 'milk' back! A single word is not a question and doesnt get an answer.
 
Militantagnostic said:
View attachment 4180
Do you also have this in stock?
Click to expand...
I have one better, do you have this in stock?
spotted-dick-traditional-british-steamed-fruit-sponge-pudding-05.jpg
 
Militantagnostic said:
Why can't a guest ever ask a deep philosophical question? "Where are the Crock Pots, and also what would you say makes a life meaningful?"; "Are the adult diapers over here, and do I have the free will to obtain them as I please or was this all predetermined?
Click to expand...
Seriously, I have had that happen. I get away with answering it because I can always loop something into a sale.

The answer to the first is the crocks make life meaningful because they make stew and something homemade is always meaningful. The soup starter is on g20. The answer to the second is both.
 
Standing in front of a screen at SCO that says CASH BACK REQUESTED with a DISPENSE button underneath: "Excuse me, something's wrong, it's not giving me my cash?"

Every single old person trying to pay with a debit card: "Key PIN? What does that mean?"

Guests trying to pay with a credit card who pick up the pen to sign and then stare at the signature screen: "What does it want me to do?" HOW CAN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS BRAIN KNOW BUT NOT YOUR CONSCIOUS ONE? I know, it's a little weird that it doesn't actually say "sign here" anywhere, but you picked up the pen when the screen popped up??? You KNOW WHAT TO DO
 
Oh, and a guest brought a shrinkwrapped box of one-size-fits-all vinyl gloves to Guest Service.
"Do you have these in a bigger size?" "They're one size fits all. I can check to see if we do in another brand."
"Well can I open the box and try one on before I buy it?"
"... No?"
"(huff) So I have to buy it first?"
"If they don't fit, you can always return them. But they're supposed to stretch, they should fit even big hands."
"I can't try them on first?"
"... Not before you buy it, no."

I just... really?
 
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