Archived Funny conversations

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tgtcpht said:
We had a guest come to the pharmacy window to pick up her Rx while talkin on her cell phone...
OMG!! It was HUGE!!! I told him "You're not sticking that thing inside me! I don't care HOW MUCH lube you use, that thing is NOT going to fit up there!"...HELL YES it hurt, I've never had anything that big and hard up there before!!! Hold on, I have to pick up my prescription...wait, I'll call you back...

We were dying! Turns out, she was referring to a pelvic ultrasound ;)
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Ok so how do you transition into finding out what she's taking about? Lol. Still busting up, I would have been red in the face and probly not been able to hold it together to help her lol
 
Myname said:
Ok so how do you transition into finding out what she's taking about? Lol. Still busting up, I would have been red in the face and probly not been able to hold it together to help her lol
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She asked the pharmacist if there was anything she could do to ease the "discomfort" from it. The thing is, the wand they use really ISN'T that big, so if that's the BIGGEST thing she's had, her husband must not be very big~lol! She also has 2 kids.
 
tgtcpht said:
She asked the pharmacist if there was anything she could do to ease the "discomfort" from it. The thing is, the wand they use really ISN'T that big, so if that's the BIGGEST thing she's had, her husband must not be very big~lol! She also has 2 kids.
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I had one of those kind of ultra sounds before and I definitely don't remember any discomfort from it at all.
 
Today I'm working express lane checkout and see this lady buying a pregancy test so I ask her if she wants it to be positive she says no and then says that her boyfriend is on her shit list it made me laugh !
 
There was this lady who came into my lane the day after Halloween and we still had little tin buckets with candy in our drawers that we were giving to guests. They were pretty out of sight and I'm p sure at this point just the cashiers were eating them.

So I ask her if she found everything okay to which she replied "and if I say no? Will you give me snacks?" and in that moment I knew I was blessed with the ultimate opportunity. With the straightest face possible I looked at her and grabbed the tin bucket with candy and put it in front of her and smiled and said "yes." And I have never seen a guest laugh that hard. I thought she was going to suffocate. She said I totally made her day with that and she can't believe I got her that good. A++ moment
 
Heard today over walkie on the main channel at my store: "And if you see any real unicorns, get photos or video for proof!" (@Patty produced that gem.)
 
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Woman: Get it up!
Man: I'm trying; it won't go up.
Woman: Harder. Harder!
Man: I'm telling you-- it won't!

They were fumbling with the cart seat.
 
Over the walkies earlier tonight (I was at the service desk)

*Food ave guy comes over and asks me to tell the LOD he's all set for the night*
Me: LOD please, LOD
LOD: Go for LOD
Me: Food Ave is all set
LOD: Alrighty thank you, tell him to have a great night

*10 seconds later*
GSA: LOD please, LOD
LOD: Go for LOD
GSA: Food Ave is all set
LOD: EmptyCart juuuuuuust told me that?
GSA: Oh...uh...ok uh wow haha
LOD: You guys really want me to hurry, huh?

*10 seconds later*
Hardlines TM: LOD please, LOD
LOD: Go for LOD
Hardlines TM: Food Ave is all set
LOD: Oh really I had no clue, thanks for letting me know
Hardlines TM: No problem, just trying to help out where I can
*me, food ave guy, and GSA start cracking up*

Felt good to participate in one of these conversations for once, definitely lightened the mood up front for a bit :D
 
I was all the way in the back of the store trying to put away some go backs when all of a sudden, this happens over the walkie...

GSA: ...And please for the love of God remember to hit add money.
Me: I will remember to hit add money!
Electronics TM: Add money, got it.
ETL-Hardlines: Team, remember to watch your walkies...

Normally every GSTL/GSA just says "Salesfloor, I'd like to thank TM for helping a guest save 5%! Thanks TM!" at every store, right? Well this same GSA thanked a GSTM for getting a red card in the most awkward way possible over the walkie, kind of suggesting that she got her own personal red card instead of signing up a guest and all I could think of to say after she said it was "For herself?"
 
Me: Did PFresh come?
STL: I don't know.
Me: Did the clearance in the back get flexed?
STL: I don't know.
Me: Did so and so show up for work?
STL: I don't know.
Me: What do you know?
STL: That the store looks like shit and I'm too tired to care.
 
I was in line after a long shift checking out with my purchases- a TV dinner and a bottle of wine. I was chatting with the guest in line behind me and I mentioned something about the employee discount. He said,

"Oh, they give you a discount on your alcohol? That's nice!"

to which I replied,

"Yeah, but working here is the reason I drink in the first place."
 
ETL-GE: BullseyeBlues, can you go to channel 3?
*channel switching*
ETL-GE: Do you want to work more hours--
Me: Yes. Automatic yes. I like being able to afford food.
ETL-GE: Ok, gotcha. I'll leave you a note with your new hours for those days. Thanks a million. I'll leave you a cookie, too.
 
BullseyeBlues said:
ETL-GE: BullseyeBlues, can you go to channel 3?
*channel switching*
ETL-GE: Do you want to work more hours--
Me: Yes. Automatic yes. I like being able to afford food.
ETL-GE: Ok, gotcha. I'll leave you a note with your new hours for those days. Thanks a million. I'll leave you a cookie, too.
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I want a cookie:(
 
I had a guest ask me my bra cup size because she was looking into getting implants.

Another time a guest told be to not have kids past 35 because her last one wrecked her body...
 
Was shopping at a sister store & stopped off to get a drink at Starbucks.
I was in line behind one of their ETLs as he had just finished a walkie convo.
He looked at the barista & asked "Ever feel sometimes like you're losing your mind?"
The barista gave him a flat look & said "Can't lose what I never had."
 
On channel 1.
GSTL: Team, I would like to take a moment to recognize... [ETL-HR]'s hair. It is looking absolutely fabulous today.
*****
RandomGuest1: "Turkey, fish, deer, oak, gold."
RG2: "OH! Fish cloud Stream river boat silver tom!"
 
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