The Things Guests Do/Pet Peeves Thread

*SCO Machine is not working properly. It has a huge, red, “DO NOT USE” tag covering the screen. The screen itself says closed. There is a stack of bags across the scanner. 5 other machines are open.*
Guest: *puts their hand basket on the shelf. Pushes all the bags on to the floor. Looks at the screen. Scans. Looks at me.*
Guest: “Why is not scanning this?”
Me: “Gosh i really don’t know, that’s so weird, the machine must be broken or something! If only there was a way to tell. Go ahead and try the machine next to you.”
Guest: “Thanks!”
My eye: *twitches*
we put an upside down basket over the scanner-- that works well
 
Inevitably the person who just rolled up will hop out of line and RACE to the service desk

In all fairness I have seen many times where you offer to take the next person and they look at you like you're crazy. I now just say I'm open on "#" and let who ever come come.
 
In all fairness I have seen many times where you offer to take the next person and they look at you like you're crazy. I now just say I'm open on "#" and let who ever come come.
This. Because sometimes the next guest has already unloaded their cart. I say "I can help a guest at lane X". Whoever comes, comes.
At the service desk though, I always say "I can help the next guest in line"
 
Me: Hi, what can I do for you?
Guest: You're holding some jeans for me.
Me: Oh, okay, let me check. (...can't find any jeans...) when did you put them on hold?
G: Well, I ordered them last week.
Me: OOOOH, okay, you're picking up an on line order?
G: Yes, that's what I said.
Me: *sphincters start to twitch*
G: I have my order number.
Me: Oh, that's okay, all I need is your ID.
G: ID? Like, um, *hands me credit card*
Me: No hon, I just need your ID.
G: ID? Like, um, *hands me phone with barcode on screen*
Me: *eye twitching now* No, I need your ID, a picture ID, government issue.
G: ID? Like, um, driver's license?
Me: *BINGOMOTHERFUCKER* Yes please.
Me: *looks in MyGo and can't find their name* Is it under your name or someone else's?
(now this could play out two ways)

Scenario 1:
Guest: I ordered it, it it should be here yesterday.
Me: Okay, did you get the email stating that your order is ready?
G: I don't know, I haven't checked it in a few days.
Me: Can you check it on your phone or do you have the order number?
G: Um, I don't have email on my phone.
Me *now twitching uncontrollably* *tries everything to find out order number*
G: *calls husband to check email* Oh, I guess the order isn't ready.
Me: Shoots self in head

Scenario 2:
Guest: Well, my sister in laws brothers mothers cousin ordered it.
Me: *sigh* what name is it under?
G: Jones.
Me: We have 6 Jones' listed, what's the first name and are you listed as an alternate pick up person?
G: What's that?
Me: *explains that shit* *looks at all 6 JONES orders, can't find guest's name*
Me: I don't see you listed here as a pick up, and we can't release orders unless it's to an authorized person.
G: Well that's bullshit, it's my sister in laws brothers mothers cousin and they know I'm in town to get it and they said it was okay.
Me: Call 'em and tell them to add you *explains process*
15 minutes later:
Me: Shoots self in head.

Like, how many stupid people live in this city? It's a constant steady stream of stupid at the service desk, what with people making returns on 9 month old shit with no receipt (and we fucking let them do it with an ID regardless of how old shit is), people coming in asking if we have that thing they saw in that magazine in 1997, or when they called the lady they talked to said they could have that air conditioner for half price because it was on sale a year ago and it's getting cold out so it should be on sale.

But hey, it's a job and I get to live indoors and eat food.
 
Me: Hi, what can I do for you?
Guest: You're holding some jeans for me.
Me: Oh, okay, let me check. (...can't find any jeans...) when did you put them on hold?
G: Well, I ordered them last week.
Me: OOOOH, okay, you're picking up an on line order?
G: Yes, that's what I said.
Me: *sphincters start to twitch*
G: I have my order number.
Me: Oh, that's okay, all I need is your ID.
G: ID? Like, um, *hands me credit card*
Me: No hon, I just need your ID.
G: ID? Like, um, *hands me phone with barcode on screen*
Me: *eye twitching now* No, I need your ID, a picture ID, government issue.
G: ID? Like, um, driver's license?
Me: *BINGOMOTHERFUCKER* Yes please.
Me: *looks in MyGo and can't find their name* Is it under your name or someone else's?
(now this could play out two ways)

Scenario 1:
Guest: I ordered it, it it should be here yesterday.
Me: Okay, did you get the email stating that your order is ready?
G: I don't know, I haven't checked it in a few days.
Me: Can you check it on your phone or do you have the order number?
G: Um, I don't have email on my phone.
Me *now twitching uncontrollably* *tries everything to find out order number*
G: *calls husband to check email* Oh, I guess the order isn't ready.
Me: Shoots self in head

Scenario 2:
Guest: Well, my sister in laws brothers mothers cousin ordered it.
Me: *sigh* what name is it under?
G: Jones.
Me: We have 6 Jones' listed, what's the first name and are you listed as an alternate pick up person?
G: What's that?
Me: *explains that shit* *looks at all 6 JONES orders, can't find guest's name*
Me: I don't see you listed here as a pick up, and we can't release orders unless it's to an authorized person.
G: Well that's bullshit, it's my sister in laws brothers mothers cousin and they know I'm in town to get it and they said it was okay.
Me: Call 'em and tell them to add you *explains process*
15 minutes later:
Me: Shoots self in head.

Like, how many stupid people live in this city? It's a constant steady stream of stupid at the service desk, what with people making returns on 9 month old shit with no receipt (and we fucking let them do it with an ID regardless of how old shit is), people coming in asking if we have that thing they saw in that magazine in 1997, or when they called the lady they talked to said they could have that air conditioner for half price because it was on sale a year ago and it's getting cold out so it should be on sale.

But hey, it's a job and I get to live indoors and eat food.
I had a guest the other day come in for an online pick up and didn't have ID or an order number. Couldn't understand why she couldn't pick it up. In my defense, it does say to bring ID
 
I cannot stand the flocks of teenage girls that take all the beanbags in child bedding and have a slumber party in the aisle for up to an hour.

Happens at least once a week while I’m there.

Like, you seriously couldn’t come up with something more entertaining to do for your weeknight?!?
 
I had a guest come in without pants. They went to the ATM, withdrew a large amount of money, and then bought a lot of just... crap. The worst part of it is that neither myself or my LOD could do something about it because we were losing it. It was uncomfortable.
 
I had a guest come in without pants. They went to the ATM, withdrew a large amount of money, and then bought a lot of just... crap. The worst part of it is that neither myself or my LOD could do something about it because we were losing it. It was uncomfortable.
Where were they keeping their wallet/card at?
 
So, our store's SCO have a new feature where if you ask for cash back, you have to press "dispense" on the screen before it prints out your receipt and dispenses money so you don't just walk off.

I had a lady come in tonight , I didn't say one thing to her at SCO because didn't really need to. I just remember watching her screen, the screen displayed "Dispense" and she literally could not fucking figure it out. She kept putting her finger up to it and backing off, scared of whatever it is. She asked for cash back, the message says "Cash requested ---- Dispense" and she can't even comprehend the message on the screen. She's like a curious dog that's never seen a rock before. She finally pressed it and was like "oh fuck what'd I press?" and oh what'd you know... her Cash and receipt came out.

I've seen many guests just do that, and I'm not sure why. I've always said people just need to read the screen rather than look at what's ahead of them. Just funny to me. I wish I had a GIF to show what their reactions are.
 
So, our store's SCO have a new feature where if you ask for cash back, you have to press "dispense" on the screen before it prints out your receipt and dispenses money so you don't just walk off.

I had a lady come in tonight , I didn't say one thing to her at SCO because didn't really need to. I just remember watching her screen, the screen displayed "Dispense" and she literally could not fucking figure it out. She kept putting her finger up to it and backing off, scared of whatever it is. She asked for cash back, the message says "Cash requested ---- Dispense" and she can't even comprehend the message on the screen. She's like a curious dog that's never seen a rock before. She finally pressed it and was like "oh fuck what'd I press?" and oh what'd you know... her Cash and receipt came out.

I've seen many guests just do that, and I'm not sure why. I've always said people just need to read the screen rather than look at what's ahead of them. Just funny to me. I wish I had a GIF to show what their reactions are.
They do that when it asks them about bags at my store. I almost suspect they're hesitant about actually deciding on a number, or something.
 
They do that when it asks them about bags at my store. I almost suspect they're hesitant about actually deciding on a number, or something.

Usually people get confused by that at my store when they want to press to start but all they have to do is scan to start but they can't figure it out so they press every button until I finally tell them lol.
 
So, our store's SCO have a new feature where if you ask for cash back, you have to press "dispense" on the screen before it prints out your receipt and dispenses money so you don't just walk off.

I had a lady come in tonight , I didn't say one thing to her at SCO because didn't really need to. I just remember watching her screen, the screen displayed "Dispense" and she literally could not fucking figure it out. She kept putting her finger up to it and backing off, scared of whatever it is. She asked for cash back, the message says "Cash requested ---- Dispense" and she can't even comprehend the message on the screen. She's like a curious dog that's never seen a rock before. She finally pressed it and was like "oh fuck what'd I press?" and oh what'd you know... her Cash and receipt came out.

I've seen many guests just do that, and I'm not sure why. I've always said people just need to read the screen rather than look at what's ahead of them. Just funny to me. I wish I had a GIF to show what their reactions are.
Omg yes this happens at my store too!!!! They’ll stand there with their hand under the dispenser, staring at the screen and then say “uh excuse me it’s not giving me my money!!!!!!!!” “Press dispense” “oh haha!!!” *kills self*
 
I think it would void the whole transaction. If you hit Dispense, you would at least get the receipt, so would have their info if they come back.
 
Cut out some slips of paper with the definition of the word "Dispense" and tape them to the top of the screen.
 
I cannot stand the flocks of teenage girls that take all the beanbags in child bedding and have a slumber party in the aisle for up to an hour.

Happens at least once a week while I’m there.

Like, you seriously couldn’t come up with something more entertaining to do for your weeknight?!?[/QUOTE

I tell them it is a fire hazard to be blocking the aisle and they need to put those bags/chairs away.
 
When they walk up to the service desk, phone in hand, and say "I'm here to pick up a (blanket, pocket watch, whatever)" and I say, "cool, was this ordered online? I just need your ID" and they hand me their phone with a barcode on it and stand there looking stupid af.
And I repeat myself "I just need your ID" and they STILL stand there looking stupid. "Here's my order."
Yeah, dumbass, I see that, I NEED YOUR FUCKING ID.
Then I have to explain to them what the fuck an ID is. Why are people so fucking stupid???

Also, when someone comes to pick up an order and I can't find them in MyGo, and they say, oh, my (wife, girlfriend, mother) ordered it. Okay, what the fuck is THEIR goddamned name for fucksake???
Okay, you're not listed as a secondary pick up.
Okay, you're going to have to step back and stop screaming at me.
Blah blah blah. Stupid motherfuckers.
 
Me: Hi, what can I do for you?
Guest: You're holding some jeans for me.
Me: Oh, okay, let me check. (...can't find any jeans...) when did you put them on hold?
G: Well, I ordered them last week.
Me: OOOOH, okay, you're picking up an on line order?
G: Yes, that's what I said.
Me: *sphincters start to twitch*
G: I have my order number............



Like, how many stupid people live in this city? It's a constant steady stream of stupid at the service desk, what with people making returns on 9 month old shit with no receipt (and we fucking let them do it with an ID regardless of how old shit is), people coming in asking if we have that thing they saw in that magazine in 1997, or when they called the lady they talked to said they could have that air conditioner for half price because it was on sale a year ago and it's getting cold out so it should be on sale.

But hey, it's a job and I get to live indoors and eat food.


Loved, loved, loved your post ! Very amusing ! But I was terribly concerned at the amount of *sphincters* you have? Maybe get that checked ! :D jk.
 
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