Archived Condescending Quote Thread

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*returning an item*

“Do you have the receipt or the card you bought it on?”
“What, you can’t just scan it and see that I bought it?”

......what?


So many people say this... I want to know this magical store that everyone goes to where you don’t need a receipt, they just scan the barcode and it shows your specific purchase (who cares that you’re not the only one in the store that bought it, it just knows which purchase is yours!) and they can use that to return it.

THAT’S NOT A THING!!!!!
No see all you have to do is have them put in their card and it will just list all their transactions and items
 
Is there someone else that can help me, since you are of no help?
-- I can get you another leader, but they'll tell you the same thing.
 
*returning an item*

“Do you have the receipt or the card you bought it on?”
“What, you can’t just scan it and see that I bought it?”

......what?


So many people say this... I want to know this magical store that everyone goes to where you don’t need a receipt, they just scan the barcode and it shows your specific purchase (who cares that you’re not the only one in the store that bought it, it just knows which purchase is yours!) and they can use that to return it.

THAT’S NOT A THING!!!!!
I need a sassy response to this question that will not get me in trouble. I have been asked this as well....
 
the thing I HATE is when they insert their card and before they even take it out they ask if it’s found.

I HAVE TO SCAN THE ITEM FIRST!!!

One guest even asked if the card removal sound meant it was found
 
the thing I HATE is when they insert their card and before they even take it out they ask if it’s found.

I HAVE TO SCAN THE ITEM FIRST!!!

One guest even asked if the card removal sound meant it was found
Omg this happens to me too!!! It’s all “remove card” and they’re like “oh my god how isn’t it on there? I swear I used that card blah blah blah” and I’m like “can you please remove it so I can actually scan it and see” lol
 
Omg this happens to me too!!! It’s all “remove card” and they’re like “oh my god how isn’t it on there? I swear I used that card blah blah blah” and I’m like “can you please remove it so I can actually scan it and see” lol
Them: I SWEAR I used this card I never use any other card

*not found, guest tries another card, it’s found*

Oh right that was the day my aunts hairdressers hamster was in town so OFC I used the other card hahahaha
 
the thing I HATE is when they insert their card and before they even take it out they ask if it’s found.

I HAVE TO SCAN THE ITEM FIRST!!!

One guest even asked if the card removal sound meant it was found
All the fucking time.

Anotehr favorite is "look up my receipt using my card and see if I bought X other item."
 
From my ETL log, who was the LOD the other week.

Co worker calls me on the walkie
"Hey SFSDan. Where's your location"
"Backroom doing the scan, by the doors leading to frozen"

Couple minutes later
LOD: "SFSDan, switch to 4"
"What are you doing right now, don't forget you're doing the rfid scan, are there Softlines in frozen? You gotta focus on the task you have, we don't have much time left"

Like bruh really, I'm doing the scan in the back room, there's Softlines EVERYWHERE, stop eavesdropping. It's not my fault that you gave me the scan to do at 1 and I had to be on lunch soon, and would only have an hour left to finish to get close. Uggghh
 
Guest: *tries to return open air bed*

Fellow GSTM: sorry we can’t take this back

Guest: *gets annoyed, goes back and forth with TM*

Me, standing right there: would you like the number for corporate

Guest: the other employee just explained the policy to me so I don’t need your help

Okay then why did you argue with her so much if you understood it so well. I was just trying to help, sheesh
 
I need a sassy response to this question that will not get me in trouble. I have been asked this as well....

Dead barcodes tell no tales?

This barcode tells me what this item is but it doesn't remember you?

Barcodes are product names, not guest names?

Barcodes are like book titles; neither say anything about you?

Spitballin'...
 
Guest: *tries to return open air bed*

Fellow GSTM: sorry we can’t take this back

Guest: *gets annoyed, goes back and forth with TM*

Me, standing right there: would you like the number for corporate

Guest: the other employee just explained the policy to me so I don’t need your help

Okay then why did you argue with her so much if you understood it so well. I was just trying to help, sheesh

I despise the guests returning airbeds. Had a similar thing happen to me and one of my TMs today. Guest finally asked if I could do him a favor and help him out. ô_ō um no you walking sack of shit
 
Guest - “Can you ring me up since you aren’t doing anything?”

Me thinking - I’m only in charge of the 4 registers at SCO.

My reply - “I’d be happy to ring you up right here.” Said with a smile.

Guest - “Oh, you can’t open a lane?”

Me - “no ma’am I’m not allowed to leave my post.” (Turning away so they don’t see me rolling my eyes.)
 
Not condescending but I found it funny

Random Flow TM: "Hey LOD, we have people waiting at the door to be let in"
LOD: it's 7:58 am
TM: "Right"
LOD: "be there shortly"
 
Guest - “Can you ring me up since you aren’t doing anything?”

Me thinking - I’m only in charge of the 4 registers at SCO.

My reply - “I’d be happy to ring you up right here.” Said with a smile.

Guest - “Oh, you can’t open a lane?”

Me - “no ma’am I’m not allowed to leave my post.” (Turning away so they don’t see me rolling my eyes.)

too true
 
We have them and the guests still don't read them.
Yep. Like the signs every two feet down the soda aisle and on the face of every endcap cooler about the stupid sweetened beverage tax we had to deal with last year.


We don't have the airbed policy at the registers, but it is at GS in addition to on the shelves with the airbeds. Personally, when someone buys an airbed, I verbally inform them of the return policy as I'm scanning because I've had too many annoyed people trying to return them after a holiday weekend when they obviously wanted them for out of town guests. My favorite response from one of those attempted returns was "well, where the hell am I supposed to store it??" Not my problem, beeyotch, buhbye.
 
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We've got signs up that say in bold letters EXCHANGE ONLY, NO REFUNDS by the airbeds, is that a thing at y'alls stores?

We have them at my store in the airbed aisle and we have to constantly keep replacing them. I don't know if it's a deceitful guest or idiot TM. Either way policy stands. Whenever a guest complains that they weren't told of this policy and it's not fair I calmly point to the section of our return policy that says we may deny returns for opened merchandise.

Had a guest storm out pissed the other day and refused to take his airbed with him. Joke's on him though. When he calms down and comes back looking for it, I'll just inform him that we're not responsible for any personal items left behind. At my store we don't keep shit unless it's a credit card, license, or wallet. Everything else goes in the trash.
 
We have them at my store in the airbed aisle and we have to constantly keep replacing them. I don't know if it's a deceitful guest or idiot TM. Either way policy stands. Whenever a guest complains that they weren't told of this policy and it's not fair I calmly point to the section of our return policy that says we may deny returns for opened merchandise.

Had a guest storm out pissed the other day and refused to take his airbed with him. Joke's on him though. When he calms down and comes back looking for it, I'll just inform him that we're not responsible for any personal items left behind. At my store we don't keep shit unless it's a credit card, license, or wallet. Everything else goes in the trash.
You can also point to where it specifically says open airbeds may not be returned.
 
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