Archived Condescending Quote Thread

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I love those guests because I secretly laugh when they stomp off. Like they think that they're hurting our feelings or that we're supposed to care when they do this.

Yep, bye, see you tomorrow. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
I usually just secretly laugh but one time this woman was so rude to two GSAs, an ETL, and one of our AP guys (she couldn’t return a Nintendo Switch since she had no receipt, didn’t have the card she bought it with, and didn’t know which store she even bought it at) that I yelled “Have a great night!” while she stormed off out the door
 
Yeah I hate the “I’m never shopping here again” people. It’s like are they expecting us to be like “NO NO DONT LEAVE WELL DO ANYTHING, IF YOU LEAVE WELL GO BANKRUPT”

My response to these types of guests:

stop_dont_come_back_willy_wonka.gif
 
While not really condescending, we had a guest pull the "I'm never shopping here" routine. But as she stormed out of the store she smashed a wine bottle by the front entrance. It was pretty epic. Like an angry mic drop, but with a bottle of wine.
 
"No wonder you're going out of business!"

Usually preceded by some bickering about how the clearance price is already on the sticker and no you can't take another 50% off because see, it rang up correctly.

Working a retail store that's closing sucks, mostly because people are assholes.
 
"What are you gonna do when Amazon buys you up?"
I don't know, hope that they make a Jungle Explorer Bullseye plushie with a little knapsack and machete!

"No wonder Wal-Mart is beating you."
Thanks for the breaking news! You've deeply hurt my feelings by informing me that another corporation is making more revenue than the corporation I'm employed by...

"Y'all don't have *insert item we don't carry in our location*, Wal-Mart up the street does."
Good, go there and waste one of their worker's time and bring me back a car stereo system while you're at it, boom boom!
 
"I can't believe you don't have **insert random ink cartridge from 10 years ago**. How do you expect to stay in business? Where I am supposed to find it?"

Well, I'm not exactly sure, but I can google it for you and give you an idea.

"I can google. You should know where they sell these. You ARE going to go out of business. Guess I'll have to get it from Amazon"

If you're a prime member you'll get two day shipping! Good luck! **insert big ass smile**
 
guest: "the cashier double charged me for this toilet bowl cleaner!"
me: "i'm so sorry let me look into it!"
guest: "yeah I don't know why he would do that!"
me: "maam, the cashier did not double charge you on purpose. sometimes they barcode just gets caught twice"
guest: *slightly embarrassed*: "well I'm just saying..."

like seriously. yes the minimum wage cashier decided to charge you twice for your $4.99 cleaner.

AND THE BEST PART: she wasn't double charged. one was toilet bowl cleaner, one was palmolive, but on the receipt they were both listed as CLEANERS (diff DPCIs, obviously)
 
guest: "the cashier double charged me for this toilet bowl cleaner!"
me: "i'm so sorry let me look into it!"
guest: "yeah I don't know why he would do that!"
me: "maam, the cashier did not double charge you on purpose. sometimes they barcode just gets caught twice"
guest: *slightly embarrassed*: "well I'm just saying..."

like seriously. yes the minimum wage cashier decided to charge you twice for your $4.99 cleaner.

AND THE BEST PART: she wasn't double charged. one was toilet bowl cleaner, one was palmolive, but on the receipt they were both listed as CLEANERS (diff DPCIs, obviously)
Lmao I love when they do this, thinkin they know anything
 
It amazes me how often people jump immediately to the most nefarious conclusion rather than the much more likely honest mistake. Or stupidity, depending on the situation, but in this case a mistake is plain more likely.
 
It amazes me how often people jump immediately to the most nefarious conclusion rather than the much more likely honest mistake. Or stupidity, depending on the situation, but in this case a mistake is plain more likely.


Hanlon's razor is a rule expressed in various ways that boil down to "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
I also like Heinlein's version described as the "devil theory" fallacy, which goes, "You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.

I try to keep it in mind always.
 
Hanlon's razor is a rule expressed in various ways that boil down to "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

I can never remember the exact line, but yeah, exactly.

I honestly can't help but wonder what it's like to be the person who immediately assumes people are out to wrong you at every chance. Must be a pretty shitty existence.
 
"I remember you, you're one of the slowest cashiers in this store"- some guest who seemed all too happy to mention that as I checked him out.
 
“I didn’t know they hired 10 year olds here!” - guest walking up to me while I’m watching SCO
 
OMG SAME “you look too young to work here!”

You look to old to shop but I didn’t say anything Susan
Someone said that to me and I went “I am. Have you ever heard of indentured servitude?”
 
“I didn’t know they hired 10 year olds here!” - guest walking up to me while I’m watching SCO

Ouch! It's funny tho because one of our cart attendants is 19 but could pass for 12...he's so little and squeaky voiced and he gets odd looks from people who think the store is abusing child labor
 
nope they get carded too you never know who’s a frickin snitch

I'm with you on this. I wanted my team to card every single person. I'm not trying to have someone blow up in my face for carding one person and not the other. Discrimination accusations right there. I also don't even want to risk my TMs not carding the right person and selling alcohol to an old-looking minor. But nope! STL and Senior Merch were both like fuck that. Only card if they look under 35. Alcohol training literally states to card EVERYONE.
 
"And you really work in this department?"

"But the app/site says you have it in stock!"

"What, no bags?" (my target's in a state that has a plastic bag ban and our location means we get tons of tourists)

"But it's in the ad? Why don't you have it in?"
 
*returning an item*

“Do you have the receipt or the card you bought it on?”
“What, you can’t just scan it and see that I bought it?”

......what?


So many people say this... I want to know this magical store that everyone goes to where you don’t need a receipt, they just scan the barcode and it shows your specific purchase (who cares that you’re not the only one in the store that bought it, it just knows which purchase is yours!) and they can use that to return it.

THAT’S NOT A THING!!!!!
 
So many people say this... I want to know this magical store that everyone goes to where you don’t need a receipt, they just scan the barcode and it shows your specific purchase (who cares that you’re not the only one in the store that bought it, it just knows which purchase is yours!) and they can use that to return it.

THAT’S NOT A THING!!!!!

1040 in Vista lets me do this all the time tho

(is this meme still current?)
 
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